What's life?

What's life? 

Is it even necessary to come to this world?  It was not even a choice. God gave us lives and he will take them away in just a while.... 

I was born to the world, I was grateful to be loved by my parents, grandparents and my relatives when I was young. I started to think about death and the sadness of losing loved ones at the age of 7. It was very unfortunate that I had to go through cruel separations when my dad and grandpa passed away one after another when I was 8 and 9 years old. Ever since then I had great fear of losing loved ones and I selfishly prayed to be the first one who leaves before them.

In my 20s, I was casing after love and building my own family. Started to face reality of life in my 30s and life was really tough in my 40s. Through the years I had children, running the rat race, part-rime studies, managing financial challenges, relationship with spouse, adolescent challenges, etc...

Life never leaves me alone....while things starting to settle down, my mum's health was deteriorating and we lost her 18 days after my 51st birthday. It was a deep sorrow for my soul, I was shattered and broken into pieces losing her.

Why??? Is life even necessary??? Time passed too fast that I can't cope up. In no time, I see an older person in the mirror. All the celebrities we used to admire have grown old and many have died. Everything happened too soon. Indeed too soon....

We know our eventual destinations, no one could escape, no one is spared. What's the use of chasing after so many things and we all have to die after all.  What's next and how would the final few chapters be for me? 

Today, I'm no longer afraid of death. May the Lord have mercy on me and make the process easier for me and my loved ones. Pray that I could spend my remaining time on earth meaningfully with my loved ones and create some positive memories together.

Pray for God's mercy that I could see all my loved ones who have passed away before me after my life. I choose to believe I will meet them again. Amen.

Be ourselves

Be ourselves

If we are an Artist, don’t try to be a Scientist and vice versa. It is very important to know ourselves, knowing our own strengths and leveraging on them will be much more effective rather than trying hard to work on something which is not our strength, interest and even our cup of tea.

No doubt, we must be a situational leader where we shall be flexible and resilient to bend and stretch to cope with situations. If given a choice, we shall focus in developing our strengths rather than our gaps. Of course, if a gap hinders us to be successful in our ultimate goal, yes, we shall do something about it. Only spend time and effort to work on gap that brings a great return, otherwise, you may prioritize and forget about it.

I believe in being myself, I have no intention to change my values in order to survive. Some good values inside us are not supposed to be changed, that’s called principle.  No doubt, we gotta be wiser when we learn and journey through experience in life.

Finally, we shall be an influencer instead of being influenced and conform to the standard of the world. Why not the world conforms to us instead? We have a choice.

Thank you for your faithfulness

It has been a long long time. I have been trying to revive my dry bone but have not been able to do so despite multiple attempts , first time experienced the reconnection with God after a call from beloved uncle Stephen and auntie Sue this morning, they are really great people of God with a kind spirit and a loving heart who never give up on me for a decade.

The incident they shared with me on what had happened to a friend a while ago startled me, I grieved and wept but at the same time the sense of priority of life comes to me.

Thank you uncle Stephen and auntie Sue, may the Lord bless you with great health and long life, so that many will be benefited from your love.

Dear Lord, please forgive me, have mercy on me and grant me your strength to lay my burdens before you and look to you for direction. For I knew it well that "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it" (psalm 127:1)

Thank you for your faithfulness and the comfort you have sent through uncle Stephen and auntie Sue "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with my eye." (Psalm 32:8)".

Sign off with a comforted heart and a consoled spirit. Amen ♥️♥️♥️

Alive

My birthday inspiration.

Real Love

An uaffectionate woman

The one who cares and took care of my well being genuinely is a woman called mother.

She is the only one in the whole wide world who loves and cares for me genuinely, unconditionally, I never go hungry when mum is around.

Mum is not an affectionate person and I don't remember a single kiss or hug from her, somehow her loves speak so loudly through her genuine act of cares for me.

It's a shame to only realised this in my 40's, mum, I cherish and thankful for your loves and cares.

Thank you mum.

Fear Not

Drawing Therapy

Relationship

What's so great about you?
What's so great about me?
What's so great about love?
Whats so great about life?

What's so important about emotions?
What's so important about feelings?
What's so important about love?
What's so important about social acceptance?

Do I really need the people around me?
Do the people around me really need me?
Do I need to persist on in the status quo?
Do I really need to be who I am?

Who am I?
Who are you?
Who am I to you?
Who are you to me?

What am I doing?
What are you doing?
What are we doing
What should we be doing?

Am I alright?

Am I insane?

Am I loved?

Am I hated? 

Am I thinking too much?

Am I working too hard?

Am I asking too much?

Am I getting too greedy?

We were strangers
We become lovers
We become spouses
We become best friends

We become siblings
We become aquintances
We become stranger
Hope we don't become enemies

There is a time for everything in every season
Therefore do the right thing at the right timing
Think carefully and be determined when the time comes

My beloved black beauty

Dearest Blacky,

God gave you to our family on 3rd Nov 2010 and you come into my direct care in 2015, since then we become close companions and you served me every day with your best performance. You comforted me after those heavy harsh days.

You have served me so effectively, because of you, our family could enjoy road vacations, find a living, etc etc.

You have served us well and you gave us your final blessing while biding farewell.

I will not have a chance to groom you as per my plan that had been postponed for some time. I'm sure your new owner will take care of you well. I will be glad if you could have a better owner.

It is painful to say goodbye to you as our relationship is deep and dear. I love you deeply and you could never be replaced.

Goodbye my dear Blacky and I will keep you in my memory forever.

 Sgn-off with a broken heart,

My love for you

I still love you
I still love you
I still love you

My love for you has never changed
Please be assured of that

I still love you

I love you so

Papa & mama, I love you dearly
Thank you for giving me life
So i get to live
Life is not smooth sailing
There may be storms
But the life you gave me is strong
I overcome storms after storms
You were strong & you are still strong
Though your physical body aged much
Your strong spirit never give in

Oh my Lord, please be kind to my parents
Please take care of my papa who is with you
Please have mercy on my mama who is with me
Please grant my mama eternal life & a new pair of legs
I plead in Jesus’ name, amen

A random bird

You flew by perallel with the train that morning

The train couldn't catch up with your speed
I watched you dancing in the air

How is it like to be a bird?

How is it like to fly in the air?

How is it like to rest on the high voltage & don't get electric shock?

How great it is to soar in the air?

How great it is that you do not get sun burn?

How great it is that you have all the freedom you deserved？

So great it is that you do not sow or reap and yet not in want

So great it is that you enjoy freedom whole life long

So great it is that you get to sing & dance in the air freely

Thank you for flying by that morning

Wishing you a great life through the window of the train

I love my papa & mama

I love my papa

Papa died when I was eight
Why papa? Why not mama?
I loved papa more than mama
It was tough mama who raised us
She worked hard & focused
Mama was strong & full of love for her children silently
She never expressed her love for us but I knew it

Now mama is old and weak
Let me exercise my love for her
May the Lord enables me
Let me love my mama loudly in return

I love my mama

My loving neighbors

Oh, my loving neighbors

You welcomed me and made me feel at home

You were never too busy to listen and share

You helped me survive 2017 with your love and support

You saw me through sunshine and rain

Oh, my loving neighbors

I wish you will receive goodness and love throughout your life

Though we bid farewell today, may our friendship last a lifetime

Foolish hearts

Hey you foolish people
There is no everlasting love in this world
It just doesn’t exist
There may be one or two odd ones but
You may not met one
Love is like the leaves of a plant
They may be green & fresh for a while but
Wilt in a short while
Before you realize it, you are wilted & fallen
So be awakened and don’t wish for
An unrealistic everlasting love