What's life?
Is it even necessary to come to this world? It was not even a choice. God gave us lives and he will take them away in just a while....
I was born to the world, I was grateful to be loved by my parents, grandparents and my relatives when I was young. I started to think about death and the sadness of losing loved ones at the age of 7. It was very unfortunate that I had to go through cruel separations when my dad and grandpa passed away one after another when I was 8 and 9 years old. Ever since then I had great fear of losing loved ones and I selfishly prayed to be the first one who leaves before them.
In my 20s, I was casing after love and building my own family. Started to face reality of life in my 30s and life was really tough in my 40s. Through the years I had children, running the rat race, part-rime studies, managing financial challenges, relationship with spouse, adolescent challenges, etc...
Life never leaves me alone....while things starting to settle down, my mum's health was deteriorating and we lost her 18 days after my 51st birthday. It was a deep sorrow for my soul, I was shattered and broken into pieces losing her.
Why??? Is life even necessary??? Time passed too fast that I can't cope up. In no time, I see an older person in the mirror. All the celebrities we used to admire have grown old and many have died. Everything happened too soon. Indeed too soon....
We know our eventual destinations, no one could escape, no one is spared. What's the use of chasing after so many things and we all have to die after all. What's next and how would the final few chapters be for me?
Today, I'm no longer afraid of death. May the Lord have mercy on me and make the process easier for me and my loved ones. Pray that I could spend my remaining time on earth meaningfully with my loved ones and create some positive memories together.
Pray for God's mercy that I could see all my loved ones who have passed away before me after my life. I choose to believe I will meet them again. Amen.