What's life?

What's life? 

Is it even necessary to come to this world?  It was not even a choice. God gave us lives and he will take them away in just a while.... 

I was born to the world, I was grateful to be loved by my parents, grandparents and my relatives when I was young. I started to think about death and the sadness of losing loved ones at the age of 7. It was very unfortunate that I had to go through cruel separations when my dad and grandpa passed away one after another when I was 8 and 9 years old. Ever since then I had great fear of losing loved ones and I selfishly prayed to be the first one who leaves before them.

In my 20s, I was casing after love and building my own family. Started to face reality of life in my 30s and life was really tough in my 40s. Through the years I had children, running the rat race, part-rime studies, managing financial challenges, relationship with spouse, adolescent challenges, etc...

Life never leaves me alone....while things starting to settle down, my mum's health was deteriorating and we lost her 18 days after my 51st birthday. It was a deep sorrow for my soul, I was shattered and broken into pieces losing her.

Why??? Is life even necessary??? Time passed too fast that I can't cope up. In no time, I see an older person in the mirror. All the celebrities we used to admire have grown old and many have died. Everything happened too soon. Indeed too soon....

We know our eventual destinations, no one could escape, no one is spared. What's the use of chasing after so many things and we all have to die after all.  What's next and how would the final few chapters be for me? 

Today, I'm no longer afraid of death. May the Lord have mercy on me and make the process easier for me and my loved ones. Pray that I could spend my remaining time on earth meaningfully with my loved ones and create some positive memories together.

Pray for God's mercy that I could see all my loved ones who have passed away before me after my life. I choose to believe I will meet them again. Amen.

Be ourselves

Be ourselves

If we are an Artist, don’t try to be a Scientist and vice versa. It is very important to know ourselves, knowing our own strengths and leveraging on them will be much more effective rather than trying hard to work on something which is not our strength, interest and even our cup of tea.

No doubt, we must be a situational leader where we shall be flexible and resilient to bend and stretch to cope with situations. If given a choice, we shall focus in developing our strengths rather than our gaps. Of course, if a gap hinders us to be successful in our ultimate goal, yes, we shall do something about it. Only spend time and effort to work on gap that brings a great return, otherwise, you may prioritize and forget about it.

I believe in being myself, I have no intention to change my values in order to survive. Some good values inside us are not supposed to be changed, that’s called principle.  No doubt, we gotta be wiser when we learn and journey through experience in life.

Finally, we shall be an influencer instead of being influenced and conform to the standard of the world. Why not the world conforms to us instead? We have a choice.

Thank you for your faithfulness

It has been a long long time. I have been trying to revive my dry bone but have not been able to do so despite multiple attempts , first time experienced the reconnection with God after a call from beloved uncle Stephen and auntie Sue this morning, they are really great people of God with a kind spirit and a loving heart who never give up on me for a decade.

The incident they shared with me on what had happened to a friend a while ago startled me, I grieved and wept but at the same time the sense of priority of life comes to me.

Thank you uncle Stephen and auntie Sue, may the Lord bless you with great health and long life, so that many will be benefited from your love.

Dear Lord, please forgive me, have mercy on me and grant me your strength to lay my burdens before you and look to you for direction. For I knew it well that "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it" (psalm 127:1)

Thank you for your faithfulness and the comfort you have sent through uncle Stephen and auntie Sue "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with my eye." (Psalm 32:8)".

Sign off with a comforted heart and a consoled spirit. Amen ♥️♥️♥️

Alive

My birthday inspiration.

Real Love

An uaffectionate woman

The one who cares and took care of my well being genuinely is a woman called mother.

She is the only one in the whole wide world who loves and cares for me genuinely, unconditionally, I never go hungry when mum is around.

Mum is not an affectionate person and I don't remember a single kiss or hug from her, somehow her loves speak so loudly through her genuine act of cares for me.

It's a shame to only realised this in my 40's, mum, I cherish and thankful for your loves and cares.

Thank you mum.

Fear Not

Drawing Therapy